More than feelings..(take your meds!?)

Maybe a good teaser for a monologue about how as John Locke put it, “Love is the act of making the other better”.

Don’t get me wrong. I love that quote. But I digress. The angle I wanted to steer toward has to do with moderate to severe mind altering (LEGAL!) medications.

Now I have a friend who struggles with anxiety pretty bad. But he refuses meds because he “wants to be able to feel”. I totally get that. I admire that. But I guess my approach could be said as “I want to be able to feel the meds”.

Disclaimer: the aforementioned individual pastors a large church. I take care of a dog and a rather unruly roommate. I mention this because it seems unethical for someone in his position, esp. of accountability to try out mood altering pills. But for me…Bring on the crucible! Forge me in the fire of experimentation…And I wonder why I have this kind of time on my hands.

Let’s see…point for this entry. Probably that I lose my thought if I write more than 10 words per sentence. :/. Humor aside. I gotta admit my admiration for my friend def leads me to see the grass as greener on his side of the fence. My meds certainly help me through the day, and they help me not get in trouble (later episode). But I’ve always thought, when I take a med that actually works pretty well, I’m cheating, I’ve got the code to save the princess!…and I’m not sharing.

Here’s the thing though…If you have any reverence for the Holy Book (Word of God, the Bible), you may know the letter to the Ephesian church mentioned that those of us who are “In Christ”, they are already seated, in their spirit, “in the heavenlies. To me this means, the spiritual world is, albeit far fetched to our unwilling imaginations, more real than what we see, touch, taste and feel. When Jesus said to store your treasures in heaven, he wasn’t talking about stuff you wait til the end of your life to deposit. No, you got auto deposit, so get it in gear.

the tough thing to grapple with is, are my meds hindering my looking above? My testimony is I’ve been doing a sort of evangelism lately, briefly encountering folks at public places. Now mind you, this work unnerves me to death. When I’m afraid, I cry out, go look for a bandaid. Fear rooted in alot of lack of faith, or in my pride, or unwillingness to learn. Point I’m trying to make, is I’m not gonna sit here and say there is no drug that can help. Clearly no drug can solve the problem. But there are some out there that will mask things pretty well or well enough at times.

My housemate and I were just talking about how Jesus came not only for the sick…but within that category He included…sinners, probably even equated the two categories. So be encouraged that if you do have a debilitating, in this case, mental struggle, you are strong in God’s kingdom. But sinners, even more. I know in my case my sin so often is an addendum to my sickness taking its toll on me. It doesn’t have to go that way. I can make better, on time choices. “But when we do sin, we have an advocate with the Father”.

Me, I’ve tried the med-free life, for a time, til it got tough. But this entry is not about whether or not to ingest a pill. Just wondering, Paul said to fix our eyes on Christ. That makes me so often visualize myself straight up raising my stare off the pavement and onto Jesus’ eyes, like Peter leaping out of the boat. And Jesus, always pressing the other side of the envelope. Did He say to Peter, I commend you for your faith? Know, Jesus was the rock that he is, speaking to the rock of the church in training. Don’t lose faith, Peter. Don’t put your hand to the plow and let go.

as far as psychosomatic meds go, keep an open line with your doc, or switch to one you can talk to. If you want to get off of stuff, do it the doc’s way. But in all things keep in mind, the place being prepared for you, for all of us sealed by the Holy Spirit, is our clear and present reality. Not depression, not anxiety or grief…not principalities, nothing can separate us from our Father’s love.

and turn to him when things get hard. for me, I’m a bit of a whiner. I can’t bring myself to pray in hard times bc my pride gets in the way. I say things like,”it’s no use saying I’m sorry…again. I’ve just gotta change my behavior”. All along forgetting that changed behavior begins on your knees.

One last thought…I love discovering new implications of Christ fulfilling the law. That is, sinners in Jesus’ day were they who Jesus spent time with, partly to stick it to the Pharisees and their religion with the law. But also to show He was the one who could forgive sins, mostly evidenced by a miracle. But also, to fulfill the original fall of man from the garden. Sinners are sinners because they are born under the law, and often times because they have little to no hope of cleaning up.

If you think you’re a sinner who is dependent on Prozac and the like, be encouraged. Hillsong in my fav song King of Kings sings “then from heaven you came running. there was mercy in your eyes”. Mercy has triumphed over judgment bc judgment has not understood it. What does the Lord require of you? To act justly, and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God”. Keep your eyes on Jesus and lock your car. In other words, keep taking your meds. Lord sabaoth, King of Angel Armies will make a way.


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E H Williams

singer/songwriter with a growing resolve to blog :)

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